


some small comfort

by isometric



Series: talking nonsense (stones like white flames) [3]
Category: Fire Emblem Heroes
Genre: Angst, Complicated Grief, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Nonbinary Summoner | Eclat | Kiran, POV Second Person, but not the officially diagnosable one, grima gets treated like a flying horse but it's nbd, unrealistic depiction of how summoning works
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:07:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27031657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isometric/pseuds/isometric
Summary: Líf brings a different sort of grief.(Post-Book III)
Relationships: Alfonse & Summoner | Eclat | Kiran, Líf & Summoner | Eclat | Kiran
Series: talking nonsense (stones like white flames) [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1694983
Kudos: 7





	some small comfort

**Author's Note:**

> Sharena, the citizens of Askr, even Kiran... I couldn't save a single one of them. The grief twisted me. But they all yet live in your world. Perhaps I can draw some small comfort from that...
> 
> ~Líf, Book III Chapter 12 Part 5

Grima’s waiting by the entrance when you arrive, at the foot of a crumbling pillar. He opens one eye to glare as you dismount, makes a disdainful, snuffling sound as you walk past, but doesn’t otherwise move, his head still resting against his wings.

Even with the midday sun and open air, the temple is cold and otherworldly as always when you walk through the entrance arches. Years ago, you’d asked Father for permission to restore it. His eyes softened at your request, but he’d still refused. Only later did you understand: despite its beauty, Vaskrheim is not a place for the living. It is a tomb, the resting place of the relic. Only the summoner had ever found comfort in this place.

Kiran’s sitting against the summoning stone when you find them, within the dried inner ring where rainwater collects. They have one leg raised, bracing their forehead against their knee. Breidablik rests on the other leg, cushioned with a layer of fur to protect against the frost still covering it.

Kiran doesn’t look up, eyes still on Breidablik, but their shoulders loosen at your approach. They lean readily against you when you sit down carefully beside them, doing your best not to touch the summoning stone. Against the chill of the temple, the cold air emanating from Breidablik, their warmth is a relief.

For a long time, neither of you speak. Kiran breathes quietly at your side, lost in their thoughts, tracing the relic’s etchings with gloved fingers. The cold does not seem to affect them, but after Múspell, they took your worries to heart. You exhale softly, watching your breath fog up.

“I can feel him,” they finally say.

They can only mean one person. “Líf.”

Kiran nods. “I’d wondered, for a long time, why I could never control who I summon. But now I know.” They sigh. “I wish I didn’t.”

Summoning required a sense of connection. Other Heroes had described it as a voice calling to them. Robin had been easier, but not everyone felt kinship with a person existing only in visions.

But Líf…

You tilt your own head against your shoulder.

“I can feel him here,” Kiran says, “like a beating heart. In Breidablik. In the temple, too.” They raise their head to knock a little against the summoning stone. “Like a seed in my palms. But dormant.”

They drop their head back down, this time against your other shoulder. The touch of over-familiarity always surprises you, but it's never unwelcome. Kiran is so warm in the cold of Vaskrheim.

“I can almost see him,” they say. “He’s… sleeping, in a way. Dreaming.”

You think, they don’t want to wake him.

Then you think, what if it was you? Would you want to be awakened?

If it was you, could you bear to wake, knowing your plans failed? Waking with the memory of death, and Kiran the one who dealt it? Knowing that you’d always be an outsider to this Askr, watching another version of your summoner and your sister walk, and be forever reminded of your own?

But, if you could wake to seeing them again, wouldn’t you want to? Even if they’re not yours, would you not want to see them alive again?

But, in the end, it’s not your call to make.

So, you continue to sit in silence. It’s nice, in a way. It’s been a long time since you were able to relax side by side, unneeded by anyone. A world with only the two of you, where you can just exist in peace.

Then you hear Kiran draw in a shaky breath. “I can’t speak for Sharena, only for me. Even if you’re willing to share me, I’m not.” They let go of Breidablik to bury their face in their hands. “I can’t.”

“Kiran…”

“What he needs— I want to give. I want to help. But not at your expense. Not as I am.” One hand trails away from their face to thumb at the tattoo, the emblem of Askr etched into skin. “For me, you will always come first.”

The admission makes you swallow. Kiran’s devotion is an unending sea, depthless in its capacity. Once, you'd reached for it carelessly, seeking anchor; in Múspell, you’d glimpsed the shadow of it, and stood by unafraid; in Hel, you finally grasped the shape of it, vast and overwhelming.

Had you any doubts before, Hel has put them all to rest. Beyond the cheerful artifice is a troubled young person, who smiles because it's expected. Under that is someone tired and weary, who holds on regardless because you exist. Who looks at you patiently, understanding that they are just as much your safe harbour. You’d never thought to thank fate before meeting them.

They say, “I don’t want him to feel second. But, more than that, I don’t want you to have to make concessions to him. You already make so many, with your kindness.”

You can only hum in response. If you were truly kind, you think, you’d let Kiran summon Líf regardless. True kindness would be to let Líf heal, to help him heal, or failing that, to take the decision into your hands, and ask Kiran not to summon him. True kindness would be to prevent Kiran from ever feeling torn again. To find a way to ease their burdens, never let them worry about such things again.

No, true kindness would have been to let Kiran go, before they’d ever gotten embroiled in Askr’s troubles. _I should never have asked you to stay_ , Líf had said. He was right. Everyone calls you kind, but the truth is, you're selfish. You can’t compare to Kiran, who would abandon Líf without hesitation for your sake.

For your sake, Kiran would do anything. The war, the march against Hel, the compassion they’d sacrificed to keep you safe— and now, Líf. The other you. Because of course, everything they do will always be for you. Even another version of you.

Worse is, you cannot reciprocate. Askr must always comes first, the kingdom and its people an isolating barrier between you and the rest of the world. Not even Líf could break free from that duty.

And yet, for Kiran— You wish you could do the same for them.

So, you say, “One day.”

Kiran turns to you, confused.

“Maybe now isn’t the right time. But one day.”

For a long moment, Kiran doesn’t say anything, just studies your face, or maybe your expression. The summoner at work, putting you first again. But in the end, they simply sigh, rolling their head back against your shoulder. A concession.

One of Kiran’s hand goes back to tracing Breidablik. The other goes to yours, grasping your hand tightly, like they never want to let go.

Outside the circle of stone columns, the remains of temple walls long-gone, you hear Grima shift, his massive wings unfolding and refolding as he settles back down. Your mare, a proud and fearless animal, neighs and stomps in annoyance.

Within the circle, Vaskrheim is quiet. The holy tomb, where nothing living can stay. But Kiran does, protected by their divine light. And now, hand in hand, you do too.

**Author's Note:**

> This is actually part 11 in my notes (OTL.....) so there's a couple spoilery lines about Líf. ANYWAYS—
> 
> Vaskrheim's interesting for two reasons. First, apparently only Brave Heroes are confirmed to be summoned there. I guess everyone else gets the summoning ruins treatment? But plot-wise that doesn't really make sense (since Kiran can summon anywhere), so I just cut it down to a temple for Breidablik. Second, [game backgrounds](https://www.spriters-resource.com/mobile/fireemblemheroes/sheet/116342/) show Vaskrheim as an open-air temple, with the summoning stone in a pool with raised paths. It's not explained how the water gets and stays there without drying up (rain? underground pool? connecting tunnels to the sea? magic?), considering the temple is abandoned, so I went with the most mundane reason. 
> 
> Funnily enough, I think Thrasir would have dealt with being summoned better than Líf, and would have generally been less emo about her loss, if only because she doesn't have his martyr complex and wouldn't blame herself for everything. I debated whether Kiran would have summoned her to give her a second chance, but decided at the end that she and Líf are a unit (mentioning him in her lines, although he doesn't mention her in his.....), and since Kiran isn't ready for Líf....


End file.
